Today is Monday, October 23, 2017, and it’s been raining all day. I don’t like when it rains sometimes, especially since the seasons are beginning to change. I am moving into round two of all the holidays, birthdays etc without my husband. Thanksgiving is around the corner and I don’t know what I want to do. Yes, I have grown children, daughter N Loves, and grandchildren. What does that mean as it relates to celebrating without My Devan?!
See our family is very close and losing Devan has truly placed a huge void in our family. How can I keep the same traditions as before? How can I carry on like he is going to come in and sit down for dinner on Thanksgiving, Christmas? Since our children are all grown with their own families we started celebrating Christmas Eve with them. That way they didn’t have to leave their home on Christmas Day.
Devan and I would go to the movies. That was our thing, we even started going to the Cinebistro which was nice because that meant I didn’t have to cook. Now, who will I go to the movies with?
Last year I went to the movies with my brother and it was nice, however; it wasn’t Devan.
I told my children that I need to find a new tradition and they totally understand. I am sure this will change over time. As of now it just doesn’t feel the same without my husband not being apart of the celebration. So, for now, I will just allow myself to do this the way I need to for me. No one can tell me how to maneuver through this because everyone is different.
These are some of the things people don’t consider when someone is walking in grief. I am learning how to live without my husband day by day and moment by moment. I will continue to walk with GOD as I Walk Without My Cane.
Originally written for Hopeforwidows.com
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